It's this fact that we need to remember when we define or determine loving relationships between men and women. In my opinion as well as most other men and women I have spoken with, the way to start a lasting love relationship that leads to marriage is to become friends first. Becoming friends is a strong foundation because if you base your relationship on lust and romance, it generally doesn't last.

Many men and women who think they are falling in love, actually are falling in lust. I'm sure at one time or another we've all felt that "EUPHORIC, HOT PASSION", only to find that once that feeling has worn off - there's nothing left underneath. In other words, you find that you have nothing in common or no other reason to be together, except to make mad, passionate love. Don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with passion, but if you want love that's lasting and grows to build a future together, passion is not enough.

I have also found that women tend to view sex synonymously with love and commitment. Unfortunately, most men have difficulty separating sex and love - they can have multiple sex partners and not feel any love toward them. It's these differences that cause a lot of problems with fidelity or lack thereof, so why do men and women cheat on their spouses?

The man in these situations may very well love their spouse, but for some reason or another, they feel that their relationship is inadequate, so he looks elsewhere for his needs to be met. Usually he looks for sex, because to him - sex is the way he feels he can validate himself as a man.

A woman is usually unfaithful because she is lonely, by that I don't mean alone - her spouse might be there physically, but not be emotionally available. It's worse feeling lonely when your spouse is there, than when you are lonely because your spouse isn't there. Women usually seek a relationship outside their marriage or commitment to find companionship - not necessarily sex.